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Where I was, was free, but to just go to an onsen is not expensive.Now, living elsewhere, I have converted my own bathroom into an onsen with sit down washing and an integrated steam room – one really big wet room. No bath though. I had to fly back to Tokyo to get the taps etc, but with 4 washing stations and a glass enclosed steam room, loads of fun with fuck buddies and groups of guys.So – back to my story: At a rural ryokan which was wonderfully relaxing. In the evening, after a fantastic shabu shabu meal with a massive group of staff, I wandered down to the sento. I was the only one there (disappointing), but there was washing stools, a steam room and a soak bath. I was washing when I heard the sliding door open.(As you do), you ignore anyone coming in and keep going with what you’re up to. So, wash, wash,wash…. Then think of soaking. I slipped into the bath and put my towel on my head and closed my eyes. Pondering life. I heard a bloke in the room ask me ‘haite e?’ and opened my. I don’t know how long. She never struggled, never tried to get away. Her face was against my chest, her arms at my waist, my arms around her, my cheek on her hair, and we were swaying together. Our shadow against the wall in the yellow light was swaying along with us, looking warm and affectionate. Spots and trails of melted snow projected onto the wall and ceiling. And I was sick at heart. I was sick at heart because I was so weak. I had given her hope. I had to crush that hope. I had to hurt her all over again. At least maybe I could spare her the big hurt. ***** Finally we separated, pulled back half a step from each other, our hands finding each other and holding on. Elizabeth was looking up at me. I think she expected us to kiss, but I had to resist or I couldn’t go through with it, and that would mean stringing her along. I had to cut the string. The light was on my face now. She could see my face was wet and, thinking of these things like I do, I decided I could use it to help.
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